Letter #7

7/6/11

Whoever You May Be,

           
            Hey my love. So today was not nearly as humorous as yesterday, but it was still a good day. I hope you had a good day as well. I met up with a couple of old high school friends and I really enjoyed hanging out with them. I realized how important friends are and how much they impact your life. I am so blessed to have the friends that I have. I’m really glad right now that I’m not dating anyone because I know I would be way more focused on that person than my friends. I know that right now I am single for a reason and I am actually really happy that I am because I know I’m not ready for a relationship at this point in my life. Even though I wish I could have a summer fling…..I’m so glad I don’t. It is so hard not to focus on being single though. I think I have been having a hard time with being single because I have been in really long relationships for the past few years of my life. I never really knew what being single felt like until now. It is such a bittersweet feeling. I think that it is so important to be able to feel and experience being single. You are able to learn so much about yourself and you feel so much more mature. Well…at least I do. I know I’m not mature about some thing, but I know I am so much more mature than I was a year ago. Its so funny to think about the past and how much things change over time.

The only thing that hasn’t changed about me is my weird crazy personality! Haha. Oh gosh some people think I am so weird. I love it! Another thing that I love is being random…and awkward moments. Awkward moments are so so so so so funny! Like today in the car my friend was asking my other friend if it was ok if we both came over to her house…..and apparently my other friend said, “yeah its ok, but I look awful right now. I don’t want her to be offended by my appearance.” (I think that’s what was really  said….) anyways I thought she said, “yeah its ok, but I look awful right now….and I don’t want her to be offended by my parents.” I looked at my other friend and said, “Why would her parents offend me?” And my friend was looking at me like…what the heck? She didn’t answer me so I kept asking her why her parents would offend me. I asked her like five times and I still never got an answer. Finally my friend looked at me and said, “APPEARANCE….not PARENTS! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” I started laughing so hard. My friend said that the whole time I was asking her, “why would her parents offend me,” she had no idea why I was asking about her parents and offending me so she just decided to ignore me…and then it got really awkward because she didn’t know what I was talking about and she didn’t know how to respond. Bahaha. Anyways…I didn’t really find that situation awkward…I just thought it was extremely hilarious. I always find little things like that so funny, especially when I hear things wrong and say things wrong. Anyways….I will stop talking and save the rest for tomorrow. I love you and I hope you have an amazing day tomorrow. Sweet dreams.

Love,

Waiting, Praying, and Still Loving YOU

Letter #8

7/7/11

 Whoever You May Be,

            Hello there my love. How are you?! How was your day?! Gosh if only I could hear your answers… Today was a pretty good day, but I was absolutely exhausted. I really need to start sleeping better. I always stay up way too late, and then I end up waking up super early because I have to work.  The only reasons why I stay up late are because…A. I’m watching romantic chick flicks with my sister… B. I’m reading an extremely interesting book… C. I’m having a long intense deep conversation with someone… D. I just can’t sleep. E… I am playing the piano or making up a new song to play… F. I’m on StumbleUpon.com… G. I’m writing letters to you…..which is the best reason of course! Haha. Those are basically the only reasons why I stay up late. Anyways, the reason why I stayed up late last night was because I was trying to write a new song. Music is my weakness. I absolutely love music and I feel like so many stories can be told through songs. Plus you can find a million songs that fit the mood that you are in and they make you feel so much better. Music is such a beautiful thing. I’m sure if we are meant to be, you probably appreciate music as much as I do. It would be really super duper awesome if you played an instrument and sang as well….haha that would just be a plus…its ok if you don’t. I will still love you the same. 

            Well anyways, something funny did eventually happen today.  I was waiting all day for something funny to happen and I thought that today was going to be one of those days that were dull and not humorous at all. But God is so good and he definitely made me laugh. So I was driving the little girl that I nanny for around and she looked at me and said, “I wonder how blind people drive….” Usually a statement like this would make someone say, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” I definitely knew that this girl was serious so there was no need to ask that question…. So I looked at her with a very strange face and said, “Ummm I don’t think blind people can drive…..but I’m curious to know why you think they do.” She responded with, “Well I’m sure they do with braille or something…..yeah I’m pretty sure they can drive.” I looked at her and started laughing so hard. This statement honestly didn’t surprise me at all because she says things like this all the time. I should start a blog about all the funny things that she says every day. That would be hilarious. Anyways, I said to her, “Honestly I’m sorry to tell you this but blind people can’t drive…..maybe you're thinking about deaf people because I know that they can drive.” She says, “No no no I’m talking about blind people for sure. They probably just have someone sitting in the passenger seat that tells them where to go.” I completely lost it at this point laughing so hard. I said, “Now think about what you just said….does that make any sense at all?! Why wouldn’t they just let the person that HAS vision drive and the blind person could just sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride? It would be extremely difficult to explain to a blind person where to drive, how fast to drive, where and when to turn, how sharp of a turn they should take, etc.” She started laughing….hopefully because she was realizing how insane her mind works. I looked at her and said, “Ok…pretend that I am blind right now (remember I am driving during this whole entire conversation). Now I want you to tell me where to go!” She looked at me like I was absolutely crazy while I was pretending to have my eyes closed, but I was clearly looking at the road (she didn’t know this though). We were about to go through a round-a-bout and she yells “TURN LEFT!” and I said, “How fast should I be going…how sharp is the turn?!” She yells, “I DON’T KNOW!” I started laughing so hard and told her… “See…now that would be extremely hard wouldn’t it?” She didn’t want to lose this fight so she says, “well….an expert passenger director would be very good at it. I just need some more practice.” I said, “Ok well the practice starts now!” and I “closed” my eyes again. It was such a funny moment.

            I absolutely love kids and how their minds work. I’m sure…well I know that when I was younger I would have said something just as crazy as that, but maybe even crazier. I’m so blessed to be a nanny and that I absolutely love what I do. I would be a nanny forever if I could. People think I am so weird for thinking that, but it’s the truth. Children are so beautiful….some more than others….haha I’m joking. But you know what I mean. I can’t wait to have children of my own and to experience having little “me’s” running around. It’s amazing to see how much they grow and how they develop over time. Children are so precious and they see things in such a different way. When we look at a park with a couple lame swings and a  rusty old slide, they see a place that is full of joy and laughter and imagination! They see a magical land where the slide takes you to the ocean and the swings take you to the sky.  When we see the color red we think of well, the color red, or love, or the color of a stop sign. Children think the same things, but to a whole other level. They see love and think of the touch of their mother or father. They think of the way that people love them and how they say their names and they know that their name is safe in their mouth (read this on Beth Witherington's blog). They are so innocent and haven’t experienced the evils in this world that could eventually corrupt them and tempt them. Children are one of the reasons why I know God is so real. When I look at children, it’s as if I am looking at angels. They are so pure and fragile.  Yes there are some children who seem like they could be the spawn of Satan! (that was completely awful to say but you know what I mean). But even though some kids can be brats, they are still so beautiful deep down inside. Oh man I could talk about kids forever! Haha but I’m going to stop because I don’t want to bore you. I hope you love kids as much as I do. 

            Well Its getting late…once again….and I need my sleep. But I will talk to you soon and I hope that you have a beautiful night. Sweet dreams love. Talk to you soon.

Love,

Waiting, Praying and Still Loving YOU

Letter #9

7/8/11

Whoever You May Be,

            Do you ever doubt? Do you ever think that something could be so perfect but it goes so wrong? Today I had one of those days. A day full of doubt. I’m not much of a doubter, but I do have my moments. I’m at this point in my life where I just get so frustrated sometimes. I wish someone could just tell me what I should do and what is going to happen. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. All I know is that I want to share it with someone and spread so much joy, love and laughter with the world. I know I want to travel this world and truly see its beauty inside and out. But people keep telling me that I need to think more logically and not just dream…. I’m the type of person that just goes with the flow, but if I truly want something, I will totally go after it. I’m super indecisive though, which I hope you aren’t, because I need someone to make up for my “flaws” as you might say. Haha it would be really great if you were decisive…..just sayin. But if your not…we can totally work on our little problem together haha.

I am frustrated right now because I have no idea what I want to do about school and what major to choose. I’m at the point where I could just pick some random person to tell me what to major in and I would just do it so I would have some sort of degree and please people. I know college is important and it totally helps toward a successful future, but sometimes I just don’t think it's for me. If I could do anything in this world, I would either get married and start a family (but I’m way too young for that…and I’m not ready….plus I haven’t met you yet),  I would be a missionary, travel the world and make it a better place, or I would just nanny all my life. Haha call me crazy, but it’s the truth. I’m sure I will decide on a major and be successful at it, but sometimes I doubt myself and it totally freaks me out. I think that I overthink way too much about things sometimes, and when I get to that point, that’s when I just go with the flow and trust that everything will be ok.

I have this friend that is the complete opposite of me. She has everything so planned out already, and then you have me who can’t even decide what kind of pizza to order. I have such a hard time making decisions because sometimes I just simply don’t care. I’m so content with basically anything so it really doesn’t matter to me. It’s not that I don’t have an opinion, because trust me I definitely do, it’s just that I’m pretty chill and I like to go with the flow. I can't relate to certain people that have to have everything perfect and they have to know how things should be done so far in advance. Like my friend for example….I couldn’t live like that. What's the point of living when you already have everything planned and everything has to be so perfect. Half the time those people don’t eventually get what they want in the end. Life is so much better when you aren’t stressing about things being perfect and exactly how you want them. I already know that sometimes when you really think something will go so right….it goes so wrong. Life is such a rollercoaster and there is no way you can predict or expect certain things to happen. Life is definitely full of surprises! It is good to have an idea of what you want and to go and strive for whatever your heart desires, but it isn't good to take that to a whole other level.

Life can be scary and I know that when I have these moments of doubt it's just the devil trying to bring me down. There really is no reason to doubt when you should trust and have faith that everything will be ok. Everything happens for a reason……or should I say everything happens for a meaning (I had an argument about this with someone once). Yeah some things that happen to us can be tragic or seem so horrific and make us feel unsatisfied, but most of the hardships we go through make us stronger. That's if we take those hardships and find the good in them. At the end of these days when I doubt, I always feel so stupid and just chuckle to myself. How could I spend a beautiful day doubting and thinking about the negatives when I could be praising God that He has given me this day to live and share with those that I love. It’s almost like a waste of a day. No day should ever be wasted. So whenever you are doubting and having one of those days, think about your life and all the beauty that is in it. There are so many more people in this world that have worse things to think about and our small doubts are nothing compared to theirs. Instead of doubting, turn that doubt into trust and focus on something positive. Make someone smile. Make someone laugh. Encourage someone. Just enjoy life. Life is not that long….and you only have one. So make the best of it and share your love.

I know you have such a beautiful heart. I know I don’t even know you yet, but I know that your heart is beautiful. I am waiting to be able to experience your radiant heart and your beautiful soul. I would NEVER wait for someone that wouldn’t be worth waiting for! Come on now! I’m not sure how much more I can express my love for you. I mean I’m writing you letters and I don’t even know you yet! So you gotta be pretty amazing! But I’ll be able to figure out how truly amazing you are when I finally meet you. Haha. I can’t wait to meet you and your beautiful heart and soul!

Love,

Waiting, Praying and Still Loving YOU

Letter #10

7/9/11

Whoever You May Be,

So I was in the car today driving and one of my guy friends was in the car next to me passing by and he was listening to one of my favorite songs ever! Firefly by Jimmy Needham! It is such an adorable song, and the fact that one of my guy friends was listening to it totally made my day! More guys should listen to songs like this! Here are the lyrics.....

"It’s tulips and it’s daisies

Your favorite flowers lately
You think that I ain’t listening, but you know I do
With your two lips on me baby
My head starts getting dazey
Don’t give me a flower
What I want is you

It happened on the day you put your hand in mine
You went up to my head just like a glass of wine
Girl, you spark my attention like a firefly
And make me happy to be alive

You move into a room like
Summer breeze at noon time
Baby, out of nine, I’d give you ten
Your love is like an ocean
Surf and spray in motion
Baby, I’m a diver and I love to swim

These are just simple words of mine
And though most of what I feel is hard to rhyme
Ain’t it good to know your boy gave it a try?
O a try
It’d take a thousand colors just to paint your eyes
Like saving grace, they raise me up to paradise
This ain’t opinion, it’s consensus from my heart and mind
You make me happy to be alive

It’s tulips and it’s daisies
Your favorite flowers lately
You think that I ain’t listening, but you know I do
With your two lips on me baby
My head starts getting dazey
Don’t give me a flower
What I want is you

It happened on the day you put your hand in mine
You went up to my head just like a glass of wine
Girl, you spark my attention like a firefly
And make me happy to be alive

You move into a room like
Summer breeze at noon time
Baby, out of nine, I’d give you ten
Your love is like an ocean
Surf and spray in motion
Baby, I’m a diver and I love to swim

These are just simple words of mine
And though most of what I feel is hard to rhyme
Ain’t it good to know your boy gave it a try?
O a try
It’d take a thousand colors just to paint your eyes
Like saving grace, they raise me up to paradise
This ain’t opinion, it’s consensus from my heart and mind
You make me happy to be alive

 Ahhhh  I just love that song.....another good song that I love and that I heard today was Someone Somewhere by Jason Reeves. Its so cute! Here are the lyrics....

Someone is waiting
someone who understands exactly how you feel
exactly how you feel..
someone is dreaming
someone is hoping just that this will be the day
that this will be the day..

that you take your eyes off the ground
out of the blue
and see that someone is looking right
back at you..

maybe that someone's me
maybe it's meant to be
lovers, strangers
sometimes bombs fall quietly..
maybe it's chemistry
maybe it's hard to see that someone is the right one
i hope that someone is me..

nobody's perfect
nobody's perfect no one really knows the truth
all we've got's a point of view..
and there's too many questions
there's too many questions and too many reasons not to try
there's too many reasons not to try..

but you should take your eyes off the ground
out of the blue
and see that someone is looking right
back at you..

where ya gonna go from here??
cause everything you need's out there
and you can have it if you dare
if you dare
there's someone somewhere.."

Love,

Waiting, Praying and Still Loving YOU

P.S....You make me happy to be alive <3 

Letter #11

7/10/11

Whoever You May Be,

            Today I realized how wonderful my life is. I have so many amazing people in my life that I care for and love so much. I am surrounded by love! First of all, my family is absolutely wonderful. I couldn’t even imagine being in any other family. They have made me who I am today. They are my everything. Without them I would be lost entirely. Today I noticed that I was completely surrounded by love.

I woke up and took my little brother and niece to the pool and I had a blast. I also watched two of my neighbors at the pool as well, and we all had so much fun together at a pool that was only like five feet deep. When you're with little kids you can always think of the most creative things to do in the most boring of places. We made a tent out of our towels. We tried to save all the bugs that were drowning in the nasty pool water (this didn’t go on for long….thank goodness). We had handstand contests in the pool. We tried to see who could stand on each other’s shoulders the longest. We put my nieces floaties on our feet and tried to make them sink to the bottom of the pool (which is a lot harder than you think). We did all these stupid little things that ended up being so much fun. We spent hours at the pool playing these silly little games and it definitely made the time go by fast. I wish everyday was like today. It's always fun to act like a child again. They always have so much fun but, they have a hard time controlling their bladders. Haha my niece had to go to the bathroom so bad, but she waited way too long to tell me because she was having too much fun in the pool. When she finally got out of the water and started doing the potty dance, I knew we were in trouble. I grabbed her and ran to the bathroom (this was a time where I could actually run around a pool…the lifeguards seemed to let this slide this time). We got to the bathroom and I thought she was going to explode. She started freaking out cause she had to go so bad and we were literally in the stall….but she still had her floaties on and this bathing suit that took an hour to take off! Haha she was so frustrated because it was taking me forever to get all her stuff off so she could go to the bathroom. She finally went though. I’m glad we didn’t have an accident today. Anyways, the pool was so much fun. I really enjoy spending time with my little brother. He is such an angel. He has the sweetest heart of anyone I know. You would love him.

When I got home I spent some time with my parents and my neighbors. I absolutely love my neighbors. They are honestly like family. We always spend time on each others decks and enjoy the time that we are sharing with one another. My family is moving soon though unfortunately….I’m so excited for moving because I love experiencing new places and people, but the only thing I will really miss are my neighbors and friends. We all have  gone through so much together and we have grown together. God has blessed us with the most perfect neighbors, but I’m sure at our new neighborhood we will have great neighbors as well (keep your fingers crossed). Today I just had one of those moments when I realized how blessed I am. I have had the best childhood, the best of friends, and wonderful neighbors. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that. I would love to have my kids have the same childhood that I had. I think that having a great childhood is sooooo important. I’m thankful that my parents gave my siblings and I an amazing childhood. I am beyond blessed to have my parents. They are truly beautiful people. I have never met anyone like them in my life.

I think I am so picky about who I date and the type of person I want to be with for the rest of my life because of my parents. I look at my parents and see that they have such a beautiful relationship. They call each other best friends and you can truly see that when they are together. They still act as if they are young teenagers who just fell in love. I absolutely adore the way that my dad looks at my mom and the way that he treats her. I definitely want a guy like my father. He is the most amazing man I have ever met in my whole entire life. I can’t even explain to you how amazing he is. I know you would love him haha because you will probably be just like him! My mother is just as amazing. They both have the kindest hearts and souls. They always put others before themselves….ALWAYS! They are the most selfless people I have ever known. Honestly I know a lot of people that complain about their parents and think they are unreasonable and annoying, but I have such a hard time doing that with mine. I know sometimes I can think they are unreasonable or super strict, but then I think about my life and how great it is and the person I have become because of them, and then all those angry thoughts go away. Since I have been home this summer from school and I have been around my parents a lot, I have seen how truly amazing they are. I guess I have grown up a lot from the last time I saw them. I want to be just like them when I am older. I want to have the same love they have for everyone. The same respect, selflessness, understanding, patience, and faith that they have. I want my kids to have the same love and respect for me that I have for my parents. And I want my husband to be as strong, respectful, loving, caring, gentle, compassionate and faithful as my father. My father has set the bar for the men I date! I’m sure you will be right up there with him.

Today was just a great day to look back on my life and think about all the beautiful people that are in it, my family and parents especially. My parents have seriously given me such a beautiful life and I am so thankful for them. I really hope you are able to meet them. Whenever that will be. Or maybe you have already met them. Gosh I wish I could just know who you are already! But I will be patient and wait, because you are so worth it! I hope you are blessed with the most beautiful people in your life. People like that seriously make your world go round. They keep you going every day. I call them my angels that God has sent me. And I know you are one of my angels. 

Everyday I think of you. I know you’re out there. Whether you’re near or far, you will always be close to my heart. Call me crazy for waiting and writing you letters. Call me crazy for thinking there is someone so perfect out there for me. I don’t know about you, but this kind of crazy is better than any other crazy that I know. Thinking about you brings happiness to my heart. Writing letters to you brings peace to my mind. I can’t even imagine what you will make me feel like when you are actually in my life!

Love,

Waiting, Praying and Still Loving YOU