Letter #13

7/17/11

Whoever You May Be,
Hi my love. I know I haven't  talked to you in a couple days. I have been so busy and a lot has been going on in my mind. But I want you to know that I am always thinking about you, praying for you and loving you. How are you? How is life? Life is so beautiful. I just feel so alive right now. I can't even describe to you what I feel like. I wish you could experience the same thing I'm feeling right now. Maybe you are experiencing the same thing right now, or maybe you have experienced it before already. I just wish I knew you right now so I could know what you are feeling and thinking. There is so much to think about in this world. My mind can think about so many things at once. I can go through like a hundred different topics in like ten minutes. How crazy is that?! I might be exaggerating......but it feels like one hundred different topics. But I end up forgetting most of them because I have a memory of a gold fish. I'm also exaggerating when I say that, but my memory is seriously so bad sometimes. Haha

Sometimes I wonder if you are reading my letters right now. Right at this moment. That would be absolutely amazing. How cool would that be if you were actually reading them. ahhhh! Well if you're not, thats completely ok because you will be reading all of them after I meet you. Thats if you want to. I mean I would want to, but thats just me.....haha

It's so weird to think that right now in my life I don't have any feelings for anyone right now. I almost always have a little crush on someone, but I haven't felt anything for someone in that way in a long time. Its a great feeling, but it makes me think a lot. Maybe I'm not supposed to be with someone. Maybe these letters I have written to you are made to inspire other people. I'm not sure what my plan is from God, but I'm sure He will give me such a beautiful outcome. But deep down I feel like I am supposed to be with someone...You....and I just think about all the different outcomes my future can have only because I have so much time to think about life and everything that comes with it. I'm not really doubting. I just keep these things in mind, that way I don't have my mind set on one thing and one thing only and get my heart broken in the end. I am willing to do whatever God wants me to do, and if thats being with you, well then thats great! But if not, thats totally great as well.

Sometimes when I am writing these letters I have no idea what to say to you. Its hard sometimes to write to someone that I don't even know yet. But somehow I end up having something to say. I just place my fingers on the keyboard and write the first things that come to my mind. Its kind of amazing actually.

You know that book that I was talking about in my last letter? Well it has been on my mind for a couple of days. It seriously has made me see this world in a whole different light. This book has made me feel so amazing lately. It is remarkable to see how such a short book could impact my life in such a big way. I love the little things that make your life so much better. Well at the end of the book it talked about angels and how they are all around us here on earth and how sometimes we have no idea that they are there. I have heard about guardian angels and I have been told that everyone has one, but I never really truly thought about my own. I feel as if I have never acknowledged my angel until now. Sometimes I feel like the things that I say are so crazy sometimes. I tried to explain this whole guardian angel thing to my friend and I felt like he thought that I was absolutely crazy. I don't mind at all if people think I'm weird or crazy, because this weird and craziness I talk about has made my life so marvelous. Anyways....

Now that I have found my guardian angel and feel my angels presence at times, I live my life in a totally new way. When I think of my guardian angel I think that they are always right by my side no matter what. They are there to help guide me and lead me in the right direction. Yeah sometimes they let me fall, but that's only because I need to learn from my mistakes and become stronger. Thinking about my angel being by my side at all times makes me want to be an even better person. If they are always by me, I know that they are always watching. Watching my every move, knowing my every thought, that may sound a little creepy, but I don't find it creepy at all. It gives me a reason to live my life in the most perfect way possible. My angel is a constant reminder to live a way that God wants me to. My angel makes me feel comforted when I am alone. And I have realized my angel's existence at the most perfect time. A time where I feel the most alone...a time where I am searching for that love from another human (YOU) but I am not able to feel that love just yet because it is not my time. So I feel that love from my Angel and my angel keeps me going every day.  Knowing that we all have angels makes me feel so much better about the ones that I love, like You, I know You are protected at all times. I know there is something else out there that loves you even more than I do. So I am so thankful for your guardian angel. I hope you are able to know that your angel is always by your side and that you are able to feel their love and comfort.

Well, I have so much more to talk about but I will have to save all of that for another letter. I love you so so so so much! And I am so happy that I am able to get all my feelings out in these letters. But for now I need to go find my cat because I haven't seen him in a long time and it is really starting to make me worried (haha things like this happen all the time). I'm sure he is sleeping somewhere in my house.....I just don't know where yet....I hope I find him! Talk to you soon my love.

Love,
Waiting, Praying and Still Loving You