11/28/11
Whoever You May Be,
I wonder all the time if you're ever thinking about me. I feel like I'm the only person that sits around and thinks about their future spouse. I'm sure there are other people that do it. I mean there are billions of people in this world, there's bound to be at least one person that is like me!
Lately I have been wondering about boys and how they work. Honestly I don't understand them at all. When I watch romantic movies, I always notice the guys that are complete jerks. I never ever thought in a million years that I would meet one of those guys. I never thought I would be the stupid girl that fell into their trap. I simply never thought that was possible. But now I know that it is. Those movies tell the truth. Those guys are definitely out there. I've ran into a couple myself. Unfortunately.
I hope you don't mind me telling you my everyday thoughts. I feel as if I was with you right now, I would be telling you everything! This seems so weird to be talking to you about boy problems. It's even weird to be writing to you even though I don't even know you. haha. Anyways I'll continue with what I was saying before.
So these jerks....They always seem so nice and adorable and then you see that jerky side of them. It's like....WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!. For example: I met this guy and I absolutely thought he was amazing. The first time I met him I could just tell that he could possibly be someone that I could be interested in. He made me laugh and he totally understood me. Well, I felt that way anyway.....We started talking and getting to know each other and it was really nice. I started liking him for sure. Then he kissed me. I really started liking him. But the thing was, he was an awful communicator. He would always tell me how much he liked me and how much he wanted to hang out. But if he really liked me so much and really wanted to hang out, WHY WOULDN'T HE HANG OUT WITH ME! Every time we were supposed to hang out something would come up. And he was terrible at texting and calling me back! Basically he was and still is a terrible communicator. But I found out later on that the whole time we were talking he had a girlfriend! HOLY CRAP! What is wrong with people! That explains why he was terrible at communicating! That explains why he could never hang out....What an idiot. I was in la la land the whole time with this guy. I was an idiot. I always see the good in people and I completely ignored the fact that he wasn't treating me the way a real man would treat a lady. I fell in the jerk trap that those girls in movies fall into! I never wanted to be one of those girls....but never say never right?
That's one idiot guy I have encountered. There is more where that came from. I'm not sure why I end up talking to the guys that have girlfriends....but I do. There are two guys in particular. Both really great guys, don't get me wrong, but don't talk to me if you have a girlfriend! WHY DO YOU DO THAT?! I just don't understand. These guys seem perfect (except for the fact that they talk to other girls when they are dating someone). I seriously don't understand how people could do that. It bothers me more than anything. Grow up! Just grow up! I guess I'm just too nice of a person and want to be friends with everyone. And then things just cross the line. People start liking each other when they shouldn't and things just get into a big mess. I just pray that those guys figure things out and realize their stupidity. They are great guys. They just need a little work before they can become great men!
I guess I can say that lately I have been kind of tired of boys. I'm ready for a real man. I'm done with these little boys that think they are men. I'm ready for YOU. I mean I'm sure you have your flaws. We all do. But I'm sure that you are perfect for me and that those flaws are things like, you fart in your sleep, or something like that. Ok I hope you don't do that. That would be kind of gross. Haha. I don't think God would put you in my life if you weren't for me. That just doesn't even make any sense. I just hope you're not being a little boy right now like the rest of the guys I have met. I'm sure you're not, but maybe that's why I'm not with you right now. Maybe because we are both just being immature little boys and girls. I would like to think not though. You just never know. It's crazy to think of why we aren't together right now. I really wonder why......
I'm totally ready for you. I've been waiting for awhile. I will wait for however long it takes because I know you are absolutely perfect for me. And I trust that God is preparing you for me. I know he has been preparing me for you. I'm ready. Just waiting. Gosh I really hope I'm ready....I sound so confident! Haha what if God doesn't think I'm ready? He's probably like...shut up....you're not ready. Well I guess I'm obviously not ready because I haven't found you yet. Or maybe you're just not ready and that's why you haven't found me yet. Haha I'm just talking in circles. All this guessing and thinking is not getting me anywhere. Lets just end it like this......
I have and still am preparing myself for you. I want to be the best I can be for you. I hope and pray that you are doing the same. I love you with every part of who I am. I pray that God keeps you safe, healthy, and evil far from you.
Love,
Waiting, Praying, and Still Loving You
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